Projections

Byron Katie said “We’re so busy projecting on each other, I’m convinced that no two people have ever met.”

How many of us have arrived at a point in our relationship a year or two in, and found ourselves feeling, thinking or saying, “I don’t feel understood by you.” ?  

Being out of work has been quite fascinating.  My time has been my own and many folks have come to me with “the big” questions.  

Why are people jealous?
Why are people impulsive?

Why do people mess with your head?

Why do people lie?

Why do people leave without warning?

Why are people cruel?

One word: FEAR.

Grrrrrrr...  The megalomaniacs of the world who seek world domination only do so because they so fear being less important than anyone else.  

Really?  Really.  

And so they often set out to mess with other people’s lives as a result.

But I believe that when you are truly good with yourself.  And I mean truly truly good with yourself, this crap just doesn’t bother you.  

My teacher Kelly Morris taught me early on about how it all comes from us.  How nothing in our world exists unless we planted the seed for it to be there in the first place.  The teaching is very deep and has a lot to do with karma.  The teaching is very rich and as far as I am concerned, it is the real deal.

Well, not long after receiving this transmission, I was getting off of a bus which was arriving in Port Authority.  I saw one man picking on another.  Man A, was much larger than Man B.  Man A was goading Man B and Man A was being very aggressive.  The bus arrived and as passengers, we took the escalator down into Port Authority and I continued to watch them.  I saw Man A begin to scream at Man B and throw up his arm as if to start a fight.  

I thought of Kelly.  I thought of my seeds.  And how I myself, had created this reality.  

I jumped right in the middle of them.  I mean, literally between them.  I yelled at both of them and insisted that they stop immediately.  Within seconds, they stopped.  Man B disappeared and Man A followed me and was moaning and trying to get me to understand his complaint.  I spoke one sentence.  “You need to take responsibility for your own anger.”

But I still have a question of my own, and I already have musings about the answer. 

Why do people disrespect your boundaries?

My musings are twofold.

They do not exercise good boundaries in their own lives.  

And... we, are not living into our own commitment in exercising the boundaries we say we want and expect to have in our lives as thoroughly or as fully as we could be living or expressing them.  And thoroughly or fully could mean that there is one person that is still blowing our boundaries.  And that person could even be a neighbor we barely know.  A person insignificant to us.  But by still not keeping that commitment, not staying congruent with our promise to ourselves, we will continue to be disrespected on a global scale.  That is what I truly believe.  

I also believe all of this can change.  In an instant.  

It is our decisions which change our destiny, and by destiny I only mean the next moment (which does lead to the rest of our lives).

The truth is, I’m not interested in the stories other people are walking around with.  It does make me sad that we are awfully busy projecting on one another.  But most people find me pausing in between.  Wondering where I came from... if I was perhaps, dropped from a stork.  Out of work... pausing... long enough to answer a question that matters to someone else.  Thoughtfully, with eye contact, only with permission, and always with love.

But only if asked.

10.13.12

Jill Bacharach