I was shopping for a greeting card recently, and the
"aim" was to buy the "most neutral card that exists." I
must have spent more time on this endeavor than I have spent choosing my
surgeons for complex surgical procedures.
It was an unbelievable challenge. This could be the result of the
greeting card business and it's very own aim, but other than purchasing
"blank cards," there really are no "neutral" cards for
holidays and special occasions.
I love the new Empathy cards which have come out. I think they
are brilliant. Perhaps I need to discuss my dilemma with Emily McDowell, the
innovator. Maybe she can make a card that says "Well this just sucks that
I couldn't find a card that says absolutely nothing overly gushy on it, so have
a (fill in the appropriate occasion) anyway!" But I digress.
I am usually pretty successful at my endeavors, but on this one,
I was not.
And it activated many thoughts for me:
Am I missing the whole point here? Okay, yes, the greeting card
business can, indeed, be far too gushy. But maybe the lesson here is that we
could use a little more kindness. Right? In this case, where gushy was not
"deemed appropriate," I was in a pickle. But maybe the greater lesson
is that we could all benefit from sending one another love!
Right?
As I thought about it, that was what felt right to me even if it
was out of bounds of what was "needed" for the card. Because, in
truth, that is what my daily aim is anyway. Even if I don't always succeed at
remaining steady or equanimous about it.
For instance, some of the family members in Charleston, SC who
have now tragically lost their loved ones in the massacre were able to root
themselves in a love which I flounder in and out of. One was able to say,
"God loves you and so do I." To me, this is pure grace. Personally, I
have had to do a lot of grief work and experience a lot of loss and anger and
work my way up the mountain towards forgiveness which I catch glimpses of and
then sustain for portions of peaceful time, only to have to work my way back to
it again. I just don't NATURALLY embody that kind of spiritual freedom.
Another said, "We are the family that love built and we have
no room for hate." This feels more accessible to me. I know this one in my
bones.
So, perhaps moving from a place which is accessible and
authentic, rather than forcing neutrality, would most likely be one of the
answers here.
However, some situations are not clear cut. We may not always be
"invited" into certain homes. Even with a greeting card. The card
itself may get boomeranged.
Those homes may not have been built by love. So navigating your
inner world of true expression with "the rest" (the outer world, the
reality of various situations) can be the pickle.
Navigating worlds which are not yours becomes a spiritual
practice and brings me back to my original aim which is to just hold others in
love. Without necessarily sending "neutral" or gushy cards at all.
Intention is truly the skin we live inside of. And I want to keep
making my insides as beautiful and as compassionate as possible.
How about a card that says, "You are always welcome to visit
a room in my house. And my house is a house that love built."
"The House That Built Me."
www.emilymcdowell.com
6.21.15
Jill Bacharach
What the hell! Life can really suck!!
ReplyDeleteToday I hope it sucks a little less than yesterday!
And tomorrow it will be cloudy with some sunshine.